"You Can't Judge Me!": What That Really Means

This has always been on of those phrases that have always baffled me. And that is mostly because it has almost become a blanket statement for you no one being able to hold you accountable for your actions. "YOLO!" and "you can't judge me" tend to be BFF's when people are talking about all the crazy stuff they do, want to do, or have done. My generation especially use this reasoning to make sure no one can tell them what they are doing is, well, dumb. While older generations could be torn to shreds for making dumb decisions (like all those awesome greasers in The Outsiders!) we now have the magic keys to never being called out for our sins and it is the giant killer phrase "You can't judge me". But what is really being said in this?

The verse commonly used is:


"Judge not, that you be not judged." Matthew 7:31

Living with YOLO since before it was cool. And how did that work out for Johnny?

What many take this to say is that we shouldn't tell people when they're doing wrong things. The problem is that the interpretation of judging is much more different than what this passage really means. A judge is the person who makes a ruling on a case and decides if they are guilty or not and sentences them. What we are not supposed to do really is we aren't the ones who can condemn someone. Just like how your brother telling you that your speeding will not send you to jail, someone telling you that you are in sin will not send you to hell. It is God makes this judgment, not us. If someone tells you that you are going to Hell for doing something, like stealing a tube of toothpaste, giving the bird to a guy who cut you off, or cheating on you wife, then they are judging you.

Now what is it that most people confuse as judging? Accountability. Much like how policemen hold us accountable to traffic laws and tell us when we break the law, our brothers and sisters in Christ should do the same with God's law. Now, I know the metaphor falls apart because Christians cannot give penalties like tickets (thankfully!) but it is our job to show our brothers the error of their ways and help them understand what they are doing wrong and how to fix it. 

So how does a Christian go about keeping someone accountable? Well it is perfectly explained in Galatians 6. In this we see it written 

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

This is clear that we should help people see their blind spots. The real important part is that we have to do this in a spirit of gentleness. Me telling a friend who stole his roommates Doritos that he is "a jerk and a terrible human being" would be a proof of bad accountability. Yes, I didn't condemn them, but I was also not kind and loving. When you aren't kind it is very easy to confuse your accountability for judgmental behavior. Now sometimes people have thin skin and will get angry regardless of how kind you are. If it is in kindness and needed  it is good accountability.

So remember don't judge (condemn) but always be ready to help a friend see their blind spots and stay accountable.