2012 has been the most amazing year of my life while at the same time
being the most challenging. It was filled with great happiness, greater
despair, and most importantly a new found understanding of joy.
Happiness
As far as happiness goes there are plenty of events to describe my year.
I graduated from College, played music with my friends just about every
week, proposed to the most amazing person I have ever met and shortly
thereafter married her. All of these things brought me great happiness
and truly made me feel like a blessed man.
Despair
I can just as easily say, however, that 2012 was the most grievous year
I have ever known. I fought a nasty war within me as I was seeking to
become a godly husband and came to the conclusion that I had (and still
have) a lot of work to do. I watched a close friend willfully turn away
from God and another flat out reject Him. Most notably earth shattering,
however, was the death of my great friend and Best Man William Nolan.
Will died on July 3rd which was about a month and a half before my
wedding. To say that I was devastated would be a devastating
understatement. Never had I lost someone that I loved so deeply and so
unexpectedly. The details of Will's life and death are truly miraculous
and with permission from his parents I would love to share them in
another blog but for now I will simply say that Will was only 22 years
old and yet still among the wisest and most genuine of men I think I
will ever know. He was a gentleman in a world that has lost the very
meaning of the word. He was my friend and man...could he play a mean
guitar.
A Coin Toss
If you look at the data numerically in my life (and I would bet yours)
it appears that happiness is stacked just about evenly with despair and
the only way to tell which is the victor is to flip a coin. So go ahead.
No seriously flip a coin and see which defines your year! "Heads" and
happiness wins "Tails" and well...may the odds be ever in your favor
next year.
Sound ridiculous? That's because letting our experiences and
circumstances define us IS ridiculous! There is a power greater than
happiness or despair and it triumphs over both of them combined. I'm
speaking of joy and though it is often confused
with happiness it is so much different. Happiness is fleeting. Here one
day and gone the next and is based solely on the circumstances of life.
Joy, on the other hand, stands firm, feet planted firmly in the ground.
Joy is immovable and immeasurable because it is rooted in an immovable
and immeasurable God.
My Joy
In the moment I heard of Will's death I broke down and wept but somehow
in the next moment I was led to praise God. With tears flowing down my
face, snot running out of my nose, and with a voice that sounded more
like a whimper I worshiped my God and told Him that even in the darkest
moment of my life...He was still worthy. It wasn't just lip service. I
believed and felt it with all of my heart and soul that God was still
good. I don't say any of this with delusions of my own self
righteousness because it truly wasn't me. It only could have been Christ
within me that produced such joy in the lowliest of slums because only
the peace of Christ can surpass such a circumstance.
If you believe that Jesus is your Savior and yet are still not familiar
with the joy that I've spoken of or perhaps have only seen glimpses of
it, you need to first check yourself and figure out if you have a
genuine relationship with the Lord or if you're merely a byproduct of
cultural circumstance. If you've come to the conclusion that you truly
love Jesus, don't let his joy be hidden from you any longer! It is there
within you like a tree waiting for you to pick its ripened fruit but
too often we cover it up with the weeds of circumstance and sin.
However if you're not a believer...
There are no bypasses to joy without Christ. If you do not believe that
Jesus is the Son of God and that He died for your sins then true joy is
not a possibility because it exists within that which you do not accept.
Eternal joy much like eternal salvation is reserved for those that
believe they have nothing to offer God and yet He paves a way for them
anyways. I know it may seem naive and exclusive to some, but God desires
all of His creation to turn away from sin and return to Him.
So in 2013 (and for the rest of your life) don't let your joy be
determined by the uncertainty of a coin toss or the shifting
circumstances of life but rather let it be determined by your Assured Circumstance which is this:
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8
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